Will you promise not to be afraid...

As I read a sister blogger's description of her young daughter's experience of breaking her arm while doing a cartwheel, and the trip to the ER and all...then she later asks her daughter to promise her that she won't be afraid to do cartwheels once it's healed...BAM the Lord in my face, asks me the same about a much different situation...my heart and loving. After loving DW with my all and the debilitating heartbreak, "will I promise not to be afraid to love like that again?" Ouch....tears are a flown. Will I not board myself up against it? IDK...Will I ever even put myself in a place to even be in another relationship to ever get that deeply in love...IDK...Is there too many memories that would just stir up that pot again and be able to move beyond? IDK and I don't know if I want to know...:( I can Love the Lord, but to put my heart in the hands of another man? IDK. It's the best I can do today. I know He gives beauty for ashes, strength for fear, gladness for mourning, and peace for despair...and I know He can, but do I want Him to? Do I want to stay in the place of "where ever I am" and just be happy with whatever this is? Or ...you know I just can't even go there yet. I, yes, and still in recovery mode. Some days able to function, some not.